She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
