my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
