I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
