with your own penis?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
