So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
Randomize
