Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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