I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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