How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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