Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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