How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
