it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
