we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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