You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
