all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We need a shit load of segways right now
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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