Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Randomize
