I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
there was a trapeze. enough said
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
