That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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