Nicole vs. Life
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
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