3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
