And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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