So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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