We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
