Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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