if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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