I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Randomize
