What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
