It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
