I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
