You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
