and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
