At least make sure they are 18
Why
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
