we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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