whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
