Midget sex pt 2 tonight
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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