I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize