i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Alive.
So much puke
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
