i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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