Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
