just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
