I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i believe in u and ur pee
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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