if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize