Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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