What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
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We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
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It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
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