Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Randomize