Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
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If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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