she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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