This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
