thus making me awesome and them whores
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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