my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
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And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize