All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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