we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
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I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
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Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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