he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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