My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Is it because I queefed?
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
