I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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