Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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