quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize
