just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
