my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Someone shattered a urinal.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
