My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
